Army of Fun


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Thursday, June 26, 2003

Army of Savage

Hello All,

I was going to use this blog to make fun of Michael Savage today as part of the Neal Pollack sponsored Appropriate Michael Savage/Savage Savage Day. However, due to a certain proposal from a European advisory body with no power to enact it's proposal in Europe let alone in the States I have instead been forced to turn AoF into a forum for Michael Weiner himself. So with no further ado let me introduce today's guest blogger, the Savage Weiner.

Savage here my fellow reactiono-patriots, and if you think you seen me at the heights of my righteous anger before let me tell you, you ain't seen nothing yet. Apparently a bunch of bleeding crotch homo-libs have decided that they would mock me today for exercising my right to quash all opposition with frivolous lawsuits. Let me set the record straight.

First, it is not true that I am a card-carrying NAMBLA provocateur. NAMBLA does not issue membership cards. Next up it is not true that I "blow" dogs. Take a good look at that picture and you'll clearly see that I am the passive, though dominant, recipient of a pleasurable genital tongue bath. Turning to the alleged revelations contained within my recent email to Neal Pollack it should be clear that Mr. Pollack has quoted me selectively, purposely misconstrued my statements, and inserted his own speculations into my statements. While I have in fact sodomized many a dusky Messican lad I have always fairly traded whatever quantities of Tequila and money were necessary to gain the boys' co-coperation. Nor is it true that I had my way with them on this side of the border. I love Mexican Teenage Boners as much as the next man but they should stay on their side of the border lest they grow into threatening Mexican man penises ready to implant their mongrel seed into the blonde hearths of all-American Prom Queens. As for the many, many slanders made by this "blogger" I shall not even deign to answer them. He is a known intellectual and breakdancer who forges friendships across racial lines.

Looking at all this I have to ask myself, Mike, why all the anger? And I answer myself it just goes to show how evil, heartless and uncaring the queero-socialist lobby is. I mean have any of them bothered to get to know the real Michale Savage. Have they even wondered why a man would change his name to Savage and vent his ugly feelings in whatever forum will pay him to do so? I doubt it. If they did they might not be so smug in their judgments of my opinions. Do they know what it's like to be born to retarded blues loving parents? With a micro-penis and testicles that will never descend? To spend the first fourteen years of your life as a very ugly girl named Etta Weiner? Then to suddenly sprout a thick forest of body hair and be subject to painful micro-erections constantly chafing against your tight cotton panties? To have to change schools and change your name and to give up your dream of being the petite if ugly wife of a Japanese sumo wrestler? Wouldn't you have a penchant for changing your name after that? Wouldn't you be filled with rage that the only way you can masturbate is with a vaseline smeared Q-tip? Wouldn't you resent the queers and pinkos and shrill feminist and dark foreigners with their unquestioned identities (queers, pinkos, shrill feminists and dark foreigners, respectively) wrapped easily and solidly around them like the arms of a sumo wrestler? Well, wouldn't you?

Michael Savage
(nee Etta Weiner)

Fyrste, 11:31 AM