Army of Fun


This page is powered by Blogger, the easy way to update your web site.

Wednesday, December 25, 2002

So it's early X-mas morning. In a few hours I'll be winging my way to St. Louis, Missouri. Or as the locals would have it, Missour-uh. Why would I do such thing? Well, through a series of travel related mis-judgements and mis-haps that would make both our Hamitic and Scandie relatives proud that (St. Louis, Missour-uh) is where my brother ended up settling. And now he has a family. I'm sure his kids , who are also part Scot-Irish (and while I have nothing much against the Irish, I'm a bit worried about that Scot part because, let's face it, Scotland is the Olduvai Gorge of white-trash), are already tearing their way through their putatively X-tian holiday plunder. Anyway, my brother has promised a traditional holiday. Traditional for my family anyway, so I'm sure to be missing out on the whitefish and lentil porridge as well as the fjallagrasamjólk, mmmm fjallagrasamjólk, as I type this. I should be there in time for a hearty supper of lutefisk wat though, and if I'm not there's sure to be left-overs. When it comes to lutefisk wat there'll always be left-overs.

Fyrste, 6:49 AM

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

Hoo-boy, what makes the Japanese so mad? From sexually potent soy-sauce to their fondness for making everything ur-cute to the ubiquity of schoolgirl uniformed anime characters to their pioneering of humiliation television their pop-culture is wierd, wierd, wierd. Whether you think that is a good or bad thing depends on the observer. For myself, I'm a sucker for this sort of thing, as my vast collection of Hello Kitty merchandise will attest. Why I like it, I don't know. Maybe it's the years of mind-addling drug abuse. Maybe it's that the cute stuff mirrors my own ur-cute Ethiopian/Icelandic visage. Probably both. I've taken a lot of wondeful drugs and I'm cute beyond measure (as far as the latter goes, given my heritage how could it be any other way; soon my plans to systematlically cross-breed my two peoples to create an ultimate race of Vogue ready super-models will come to fruition... Bwah-mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-etc).

For more direct links to Japanese cute check out the invaluable memepool and scroll down to the Dec. 18, 2002 listings.
Fyrste, 2:24 PM
Urg. Just watching a CNN report on Iraqi Christians and Christmas. They cut back to the anchor, and she's all like "Many people will be interested to know Christmas celebrations are tolerated here" or something to that effect. Say what you will about Saddam Hussein, and there's no doubt he is a bad man, a very bad man, a murderous, people gassing bastard, but Iraq is pretty much a secualr country. Since we're set to invade it, we US of A people should know that. The politicians who want to invade it clearly have their reasons for eliding that point, so if the population by and large is ignorant of the fact at this point I feel secure in blaming the media. CNN, I'm looking at you.
Fyrste, 1:52 PM

Monday, December 23, 2002

Newsday reports (via Atrios):

Utah's largest employer, the Mormon church, is cutting hundreds of jobs to counter a drop in investment income and a decrease in tithing by its members.

About 600 employees of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints accepted an offer of voluntary early retirement effective this week...

Look, Bob, it's simple. Either take this generous voluntary retirement package, or become Satan's bitch and burn eternally in a lake of hellfire. It's your choice.
Fyrste, 4:08 PM

Sunday, December 22, 2002

Merry Christmas Mr. Gore...

I didn't know much about Al Gore before he became VP. Sure, he'd run for president in 1988, but he didn't make it past the primaries and I couldn't vote anyway so whatever. So when Clinton picked him as his running-mate, I was like oh yeah, that guy. The husband of that PMRC woman with the strange name, which honestly wasn't a good thing. But with the VP-ship came exposure and then there were books and what not, and despite the fact that he came off a little bit stiff, he seemed like a bright, dedicated, capable man. In fact, the more I saw him the more I liked him. I felt that if he became our president the nation would be in good hands. And then, it looked like he'd probably win. And then, it all went to hell. The press screwed him over endlessly. (Check out the Daily Howler for documentation and details and details and details. And never forget that the Al Gore says he discovered Love Canal story was a complete and utter fabrication. And remember that it was such a transparent fabrication that the reporter who started the whole thing, one Ceci Connelly of the NYTimes, was busted on it by teenagers, and suffered no repercussions whatsoever. Would you be so lucky in your career? Hmm, would ya?) People believed the spin. I know very intelligent people who still give it credence today. America was somehow convinced that he lost the debate to the monkey-like performance of a man who thing all math is fuzzy math, except for the execrable and obvious bullshit his advisors/handlers produce by the sheaf load. Then there was Ralph Nadir (yes, I know). Then Florida and the Supreme Court. And then the recrimination. All so, so sad. So Mr. Gore laid low for awhile, grew a beard, whatever, wrote books. He didn't form a shadow government though I wish he had. No, he took it well, this good man stricken by fell forces. And now, comme on dit, they won't have Al Gore to kick around anymore. I think he made the right decision and for the right reasons. But maybe, just maybe, if we're unlucky enough to be subjected to, oh god I can barely stand to type it, eight years of (shudder) Bush, Mr. Gore will take another shot. If he does, I'll vote for him. He'll be our best hope to fix the damage. Merry Christmas, Mr. Gore. You deserve it.
Fyrste, 8:29 PM